On Our Happily Ever After

9 years ago today, at 2:30 in the afternoon, the ceremony that would define the rest of our lives began.  One of the coolest moments was that on a perfectly clear day, there was a huge clap of thunder the second we kissed and sealed the deal.  There was a short little rain shower and then the rest of the day was sunny and beautiful.

We actually missed that happening, but had quite a few people tell us about it at the reception.  On our way to our hotel that night, we laughed about it and wondered if God was happy and clapping or if He was thundering mad about us being married.

9 years later, I think it's safe to say He was happily clapping.

So, here are my thoughts on marriage.

1.  Marry your best friend.  Marry the person you can't wait to talk to at the end of the day.  The person you want to immediately share every joy, struggle and sorrow with.

2.  Laugh together as often as possible.  We joke around with each other all of the time.  Sometimes people don't know how to take us.  They can't tell if we are having a great time or are about to rip each other's heads off.  It's fun for us to make people uncomfortable.  Sorry people!

3.  It's going to get rough sometimes, but don't stop fighting for each other.  We are (hopefully) on the other side of a rough patch.  Luckily for us, it only lasts a few days and then all is forgiven and forgotten.

4.  Forgive and forget.  The forgive part is easy.  The forget part, not so much.  The only person you are hurting by hanging on to anger and resentment is yourself.  We are all human and make mistakes.  Give your spouse the same grace you want them to give you.

5.  Try not to fight.  Some of you who thrive on conflict are laughing right now.  We don't happen to be aggressive people.  I personally hate conflict.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times that we've had actual fights.  That being said...

6.  It's OK to get irritated and upset.  Just make sure you talk about it.  It took us several years to get to the point where we could be completely honest about how we were feeling.  We didn't want to hurt each other's feelings or make the other person feel unloved.  We have a lot more trust now that we are completely honest and open.  We know we are safe coming to each other about not so pleasant things because we know we will still love each other once it's been said.

7.  Try to put each other first.  I know in the craziness of life, especially for those of us with kids, it can be really hard.  They don't have to be big things, though, guys.  Make them their favorite meal.  Help them clean up something that you don't normally take responsibility for.  I love taking Heath Starbucks when he's been at work for a few hours and I have some free time.  It's an easy thing for me to do that let's him know I'm thinking about him and appreciate the hard work he does for our family.

8.  Hug and touch each other.  Heath can't walk by me without smacking me on the booty.  It makes me laugh every time.  I told him once that I'll know something is wrong in our relationship when he walks by and doesn't give me my love smack.  I like to get in his way and hug him when he's in the middle of something.  One because it irritates him in a "I'm going to roll my eyes, but would really miss this if you stopped" kind of way.  Two because I just can't help it.  Sometimes I just really need to hug him.

9.  Be selfless, not selfish.  One of the biggest things that we do that helps when things get tough is to take a step back and look at things from each other's perspective.  As humans, it's very easy to get wrapped up in our own needs and wants, but it is important to see things from the other side.

10.  Just love each other.  

We are by no means experts on marriage and love, but whatever we are doing is working...so far.  I love that man more and more every year, day, minute that passes.  So, Heath Lynch, just remember that I love you with all my heart and will for all of our days.  I meant what I said when we took our vows.  You are everything...until death do us part...and beyond.