We have moved 2 times in the 5 years since we had our first child in 2009. The moves took us places where we did not know a soul. Do you know how daunting it is to move to a place where there is not so much as a friendly face in your line of vision? Actually, I bet a lot of you do!
I've done this 3 times in the course of a life that I thought would never take me more than 20 minutes from my parents, my family, my home. One was before kids. I think it was actually harder before kids. Lucky for me, God threw Heath's Aunt and Uncle in my path. Literally. They lived 15 minutes away and saw that I needed someone to have my back. They refused to give up on me. They saved my sanity and helped me learn how to really pull myself up by the bootstraps and to "put on my big girl panties", right Laverne!?!
Six months after they started their part in loving me through it all, we met the best friends we could have ever asked for. I still call Kristin any time I really need an ear that understands what I'm going through because she knows better than almost anyone what I've been through before, so she knows how to deal with what I'm going through now. That's a best friend! We "grew up" in our marriages together. We had babies together. They are some of the best family we got to handpick as our own. Someday, Kristin and Jeremy, we will live close again!
After leaving them, I think the only reason that I haven't ended up a crying puddle of goo that can't move from the floor is because I now have 3 little souls to take care of, lead, teach, and put before any self-centered indulgence I might have. No matter how huge that pull to cry in a closet for days on end might be, I cannot do it. Who would get my babies to school, feed them, care for them, make them dinner, love on them like I do? Honestly, if I lost it, no one could take my place. I'm not saying that to be egocentric, full of myself, or prideful. I am their mother. There is literally no one else who can take my place. I have a job, duty, full-hearted desire to be there. Be present. Be their rock even if I can't be my own. Be everything for them that I want them to be. They are learning from me, so I'll fake it until I make it if I have to.
Moving without kids was hard enough, but that need for a kindered spirit intensifies a million times when you have little ones to take care of. Finding someone who can identify one hundered percent with the anxiety you have about raising another human being in a way that makes them a caring, loving, productive member of society helps ease the burden. It's the biggest job anyone can ever have. Being a parent. Doing it without a support group is incredibly scary, daunting, overwhelming.
You know how I know God exists and loves me (aside from all of the blessings I have in front of my face daily)? Because every single time we have moved and been isolated and on our own, He has given us faces full of love, caring, understanding, immediate acceptance. Faces who have taken up a part of our hearts and become family.
I have wonderful parents. I would give anything to be closer to "home" to see them daily. To see my brothers and in-laws daily. To watch our nieces and nephews grow and learn. To hug on them every single day. Until that is a possibility, we fully embrace the people who take us in, love us, accept us, enjoy us, and make us feel like we have a home away from home.
I would love to list you all from day one. I hope and pray you know who you are, even without your name written here for all to see. From grade school right on up. Right now, I am incredibly thankful for the Archuleta family, for the connection I've made with Veronica and her kids (and yes, Jarrod, you too, even though we've only gotten our families together a time or two), to Diana (who is going through something far harder than I could ever imagine), for the Santa Fe family we weren't sure we would have, but were surprised to find so quickly.
Ohio/West Virginia people you know who you are! Midland people...you know who you are! I could go on and on about Midland people. You all might be a whole different blog post. Friendswood people. Grade school, high school, college people...I think/hope you know who you are.
Huge win finding people to love everywhere we go. I have a list of people who I have fallen completely in love with everywhere we have lived. As hard as moving so often can be, I am grateful because you are part of my life. I'll carry you in my heart forever. It doesn't matter if we talk daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, you mean more to us than words can say.
No comments:
Post a Comment