Bedtime with toddlers can sometimes be just about as fun as having all of your teeth pulled...one at a time...without numbing medicine. I have never understood why little ones love to fight sleep so much. I cannot wait to hop into bed most nights. Some days, it's my absolute favorite time of day. Having a little one interrupt that for me makes me crazy. Mainly because I know that without my quiet time and good sleep, I'm going to be a cranky, irritated, impatient mess the next day.
We have been relatively lucky with our kids at bedtime. The girls were wonderful sleepers almost right from the start. Hannah was sleeping 8 to 8 by 12-weeks-old. Camden was very close to that, as well. Logan was a different story. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 7-months-old. That's a long story that has nothing to do with toddlers going to bed, so I won't get into it. He's 16-months-old now and sleeps from 7 until 7 most days, so luckily, his poor sleep days seem to be over.
His bedtime is simple. We give him a bath, he has some milk, we brush his teeth, change his diaper, snuggle him in for a quick prayer, and then stick him in bed. Some nights he may cry a little, but it's usually less than 5 minutes before he is quietly sleeping. The crib is a life-saver. I have a feeling when it's time for a toddler bed, he will be a hard one to keep in bed. My fingers are crossed that he loves his crib until he is at least 8.
The girls have definitely given us some moments of frustration with bedtime. When Hannah was 3 1/2 and Camden was almost 2, we went through the ringer for several months. Camden was still in a crib, and this is when she started learning to cry it out. I remember nights when she would wail for an hour before she finally fell to sleep. She would also wake up through the night. Around this same time, Hannah decided she wasn't going to stay in bed or fall asleep until at least 10 pm. That was not OK. Heath and I are early to bed kind of people. Most nights we are in bed before 9 and asleep shortly after. Dorks, right?
We have never rocked our kids to sleep or put them in bed with us to get them to sleep, so we were determined not to start something that would require her needing us to get to sleep. After a month of trying everything we could think of short of putting a lock on her door (which we almost did), we gave in and would lay down with her at bedtime. Laying there for 20-30 minutes until she fell asleep was easier on everyone than fighting to keep her in bed for 2 hours.
I should mention that she was also getting up in the middle of the night during this time. The fights at bedtime and seeing kids in the middle of the night every night was exhausting us and was turning into a nightmare.
We finally had enough and decided to put them in bed together. It was an almost instant miracle. They stayed in bed at bedtime and they started sleeping through the night again. They just wanted a warm body close by. That was all it took. They have shared a room ever since.
We've had other issues since then with them getting up in the middle of the night and not staying in bed at bedtime, so here are some things we've tried and had success using.
* If you have kids that are close in age, try putting them in the same room or even the same bed.
* A sticker chart. We would give them a sticker every morning that they stayed in bed at bedtime and through the night. If they got a full week of stickers, they would get a prize.
* Threats worked wonders. We are that kind of parent. Yay, us! The first threat was that we would shut their door. This worked for a bit until they realized that with their door shut, we had a harder time hearing them. They would get up and play even longer. We caught on quickly, so then the threat became that we would open their door. Stinkers. We have also threatened to take away their favorite stuffed animals and to move them to separate rooms. They tested us on these...once. They were not happy campers when we stuck to our word.
* I've had friends who have had to resort to putting a lock on the outside of the door that would lock their child in. I've heard of using baby gates at the door for this same reason, as well. We never tested this one with our kids, but whatever works!
* Set a routine if you don't already have one. I am a firm believer that routines for kids matter big time. We have always had a set time that they go to bed. We try to follow the same bedtime routines as far as brushing teeth, saying prayers, and reading stories, as well. It helps get them in the right mindset and helps them wind down from the day.
The most important thing you should know is that this won't last forever. I know it feels like it when you are in the middle of it and frustrated and exhausted, but it will be a distant memory soon. Pick a method to try and stick with it for a few weeks. Changing a routine doesn't make a miracle happen overnight. Be consistent. Stick to your word. And good luck!
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