On Being Peed On

We went on vacation with my husband's extended family this past week to a beautiful lake in Kentucky.  It was memorable, to say the least, for some very good and some very not-so-good reasons.  I'll write a blog (or two) about that this week after I decompress for a bit.  This is a quick, funny little story about our little man.

I devoted a whole blog to what kind of traveler Logan has turned into a few weeks back.  We knew car travel was a miserable thing for him, but we were still very naively holding out hope that riding on an airplane might go differently for him.  It.  Did.  Not.  He seemed to hate it even more and spent his time on the flights crying, fussing, and climbing all over us.  We were all exhausted by the time we landed in St. Louis on our way to the lake.  We had a three hour car ride on top of that fun little experience after we landed.  He actually did a lot better in the car this time.  I think he just gave up and the fight went out of him.

I'm tempted to go chronologically here and write a whole long thing about how the week went, but I'm going to resist and will spend this week writing several blogs about the trip so that I don't end up writing a 4 chapter novel that you have to sit and read all at once.  Yawnsville.

Man, I'm terrible at short stories!  I'm already into the fourth paragraph and haven't started my pee story.  Shut it, Casey, and get to the point!

Fast forward a week to leaving day.  By the time we returned our rental car, muscled 5 checked bags, 5 carry-ons, 3 children and a stroller into the airport and through security, we had about 20 minutes before our flight started boarding.  We thought we would let the kids run and get out energy, but then we saw a nifty little place called "Beers of the World" and we decided a big old beer might get us through this first two hours on a plane with the most horrible little traveler ever.

As we were waiting on our beer to be delivered, Logan filled his pants with a not so pleasant smelling little gem.  I grabbed a diaper, the wipes, and set off to get this job done.  We walked into the women's room...no changing station.  UMMMMM...we left.  Further investigation led us to the "Family Assistance" room or some such nonsense.  Eureka!  Just what we were looking for.

Logan hates these changing stations, so he started getting a little nervous the minute I pulled it down and set up diaper changing shop.  I was in full on Mommy mode and got that diaper off and the butt clean in record time.  I stepped down to the end of the changing table, lobbed the diaper straight into the trash can (score!) and felt something wet hitting my feet.  Any guesses?

The boy was peeing a magnificent rainbow of pee right off of that table all over the bathroom floor...and my feet.  Both of our faces were a mirror of each other when we realized what was happening.  We looked at each other in shock for a second before I screamed, "OH, NO!" and started laughing.  He wasn't as impressed as I was and started crying.  Lucky for him, he came out without a drop of pee on him.

Have you ever cleaned a puddle of pee off of a public restroom floor?  I gagged quite a few times before it was all over.  I also had to use baby wipes to get as much pee off of my feet and sandals as possible so that I didn't smell like a walking diaper all day.

The story ended well with an ice cold beer and a laughing fit like we haven't had in a long time over this little adventure.  It was just a taste of what we had coming with that boy on the flights home.

Finding a way to laugh in a situation that isn't ideal is always a win.  Let's be honest, there really wasn't anything else I could do.  It was pretty darn funny.