We are in a very popular wedding season right now. I feel like I have people on Facebook giving a shout out to their significant other for a wedding anniversary every single time I log in right now. In fact, I was doing that same thing just a few weeks ago (9 years...whoop...whoop). It makes me smile every single time. In a day when divorce is so very common, I can't come up with more than maybe two friends who have had to go down that awful road. And the ones who have, have come out renewed and have married again...in a lasting way. I see year after year, commitment after commitment, of people having found their soul mates. It warms the heart. It really does. I pray that we all keep fighting for our marriages and our loves just like we are doing now. 9 years, 10 years, 35 years, and beyond.
The part that leaves me scratching my head is when I see a post saying something to the effect of "14 years ago on this day at this very second, our eyes met across the room and that was the beginning of the end for us. We have been together ever since that very second" or "Our first date happened on this day 7 years ago." Say, what?!? You really remember that? I can remember that Heath and I had our first date at Applebees (12 years ago? Or 13?). I remember some of what we talked about. I think it might have been in the fall(?) Maybe. I remember a few girls from my dorm floor stopping us and going on and on about how cute it was that the two of us had just gone on our first date and how great we were together. Whoa! Slow down, OK!?
I should interject and say right here that I am terrible with numbers. I forget almost immediately what the date is when I wake up in the morning. I can always tell you what day of the week it is, what happened that day, and how I felt, but the actual date...flies right out the window!!! Today is August 29th, right? Checked the calendar. Literally, just stopped and did this to reassure myself on the date. It's the 28th!!!!! FAIL!
Back to wedding anniversaries. Want to know why I'll never forget my wedding date? Because even if I tried, it's engraved on the inside of my wedding band...BOOM! Anyhow, we have a hard time buying for anniversaries. We even look up the "appropriate" wedding gifts for each year. I just looked this up recently, but I couldn't tell you what the gift for year 9 might be. Modern day gift...I want to say leather?! HUH!?! Here you go, Heath! Some fancy pants just for you!!! NOT!
Anyway, a few days before our anniversary, Heath looks at me with a twinkle in his eye and tells me that he was asking around for ideas at work. One of the ladies (OK, the only lady in the office...love you, Mary) told him that she's heard about men buying watches and setting the time to the exact time they got married years before. Heath looked at me and grinned (I love his grin) and very confidently told me we got married at around 11 in the morning. I burst out laughing! I was full of superiority! It definitely wasn't in the morning. It was around 2 in the afternoon. Right? Or, wait!!! It was definitely on the 30 minute mark. You should always get married on the upswing of the hour. That's a thing, right? So, was it 1:30 or 2:30? I still haven't checked the wedding invitation because I'm almost postive it was 2:30 and I don't want to burst my own bubble. That sounds right. Or was it? SEE!!! I can't even remember the exact time of the start of the most important moment of my life!!!
Know what I remember? Waking up at 5 in the morning so full of excitement that I couldn't get back to sleep. I remember waking up one of my bridesmaids at 6 because I didn't want to be alone watching Saved By the Bell on the biggest day of my life! Kati, you are the best! You didn't need the sleep, right? I remember all of the prep work. I remember when it was time for the rest of my life to start. I remember looking at my Dad full of nerves wondering if I was going to cry my way through this ceremony and telling him he was absolutely not to cry or I WOULD LOSE IT! Know what he did? The best thing he ever possibly could have done. He looked at me and smiled and told me that I had always had a level head and made good decisions and that he had no doubt that I had made a good decision this time. I remember this huge weight lifting off of my shoulders. I remember those huge doors opening to a crowd (a pretty big one) of faces smiling at me. Faces that had loved me and Heath from the very beginning. Some faces that had never met me before, but were still smiling at me because I was the one Heath chose. And then I found his face. My favorite face. My husband's face. I cried at every wedding before mine and every wedding after mine, but I didn't cry at my own. I felt peace. I felt love. I felt like it was 100% right. I don't remember the time, but I do remember every detail of how I felt that day.
I also can't tell you the date of the day we got engaged. It was June-ish of 2004 (bonus points for getting the year). He was leaving to move to Houston, Texas. I was staying in Ohio. I was pretty sure if he left without putting a ring on my finger, that would be the end of the best thing I had ever known. Guys. He put a ring on it. Very late at night. On the last night before he left. At the house I grew up in. My mom was sleeping. My Dad and brothers were watching a movie. I was in my pj's and headed to bed. Heath followed me up to my room to say good-night, got down on his knee in the pitch black and asked me to do him the honor of being his wife. It was perfect. I remember every detail...except the date!!!! OOPS!!!
I wish I had a mind for numbers. I'm probably (hopefully) never going to forget the actual birthdate of any member of my family. The other numbers might go (and more quickly than I'm anticipating) with time. Hannah is only five and I still have to stop and really think about what time she was born (4:41 pm, thank you very much). I can give you the time and her weight, but her length is already gone. I'm sure the other numbers will be gone soon, too. Luckily, I wrote them down. I can tell you exactly how I felt, though. I remember every gory, beautiful detail. I remember crying in wonder. I didn't have the most fun pregnancy. I literally threw up every day through the whole 9 months. I was miserable. I remember looking at Heath before they had even cleaned Hannah up and brought her back to me and telling him that I would absolutely do it all over again. Because of the love I felt that day. In that moment. And every moment after.
Guess what? I did it again. 2 more times. I threw up basically the whole pregnancy with the next 2 as well. Stinkers. Camden and Logan are going to throw me for a loop. One was born at 12:06 pm (Logan) and one was born at 12:17 pm (Camden). I can tell you now who is who, but in a few years, I will probably forget. However, I guarantee I will always be able to tell you how I felt with each baby. (Side note. I just put Logan down for a nap and have a poster up with all his birth stats in his room. He was born at 12:07. Dang it!!!! Now I need to go back and check Camden's time. Oops again! Camden was actually born at 12:16. I was close! Don't feel too bad for my kids)!
I have had 4 best days of my life so far. I can tell you the dates (so far) and the times (sort of...close enough), and I can guarantee I can tell you exactly how I felt, even as the numbers start to fade. I wish I had a mind for numbers. I have no doubt that those of you with minds for numbers who can remember dates AND times can also remember the feeling. For me, I'll just have to stick with the feeling...and general date. Any of you want to remember the exact dates and times for me, too!?!
Isn't life amazing, you guys? Soak in every single major (and minor) detail. Whether you remember details (like dates...I'm just jealous of those of you who can) or not, I guarantee you will always remember the feelings. What a blessing!
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
On Finding Family No Matter Where You Are.
We have moved 2 times in the 5 years since we had our first child in 2009. The moves took us places where we did not know a soul. Do you know how daunting it is to move to a place where there is not so much as a friendly face in your line of vision? Actually, I bet a lot of you do!
I've done this 3 times in the course of a life that I thought would never take me more than 20 minutes from my parents, my family, my home. One was before kids. I think it was actually harder before kids. Lucky for me, God threw Heath's Aunt and Uncle in my path. Literally. They lived 15 minutes away and saw that I needed someone to have my back. They refused to give up on me. They saved my sanity and helped me learn how to really pull myself up by the bootstraps and to "put on my big girl panties", right Laverne!?!
Six months after they started their part in loving me through it all, we met the best friends we could have ever asked for. I still call Kristin any time I really need an ear that understands what I'm going through because she knows better than almost anyone what I've been through before, so she knows how to deal with what I'm going through now. That's a best friend! We "grew up" in our marriages together. We had babies together. They are some of the best family we got to handpick as our own. Someday, Kristin and Jeremy, we will live close again!
After leaving them, I think the only reason that I haven't ended up a crying puddle of goo that can't move from the floor is because I now have 3 little souls to take care of, lead, teach, and put before any self-centered indulgence I might have. No matter how huge that pull to cry in a closet for days on end might be, I cannot do it. Who would get my babies to school, feed them, care for them, make them dinner, love on them like I do? Honestly, if I lost it, no one could take my place. I'm not saying that to be egocentric, full of myself, or prideful. I am their mother. There is literally no one else who can take my place. I have a job, duty, full-hearted desire to be there. Be present. Be their rock even if I can't be my own. Be everything for them that I want them to be. They are learning from me, so I'll fake it until I make it if I have to.
Moving without kids was hard enough, but that need for a kindered spirit intensifies a million times when you have little ones to take care of. Finding someone who can identify one hundered percent with the anxiety you have about raising another human being in a way that makes them a caring, loving, productive member of society helps ease the burden. It's the biggest job anyone can ever have. Being a parent. Doing it without a support group is incredibly scary, daunting, overwhelming.
You know how I know God exists and loves me (aside from all of the blessings I have in front of my face daily)? Because every single time we have moved and been isolated and on our own, He has given us faces full of love, caring, understanding, immediate acceptance. Faces who have taken up a part of our hearts and become family.
I have wonderful parents. I would give anything to be closer to "home" to see them daily. To see my brothers and in-laws daily. To watch our nieces and nephews grow and learn. To hug on them every single day. Until that is a possibility, we fully embrace the people who take us in, love us, accept us, enjoy us, and make us feel like we have a home away from home.
I would love to list you all from day one. I hope and pray you know who you are, even without your name written here for all to see. From grade school right on up. Right now, I am incredibly thankful for the Archuleta family, for the connection I've made with Veronica and her kids (and yes, Jarrod, you too, even though we've only gotten our families together a time or two), to Diana (who is going through something far harder than I could ever imagine), for the Santa Fe family we weren't sure we would have, but were surprised to find so quickly.
Ohio/West Virginia people you know who you are! Midland people...you know who you are! I could go on and on about Midland people. You all might be a whole different blog post. Friendswood people. Grade school, high school, college people...I think/hope you know who you are.
Huge win finding people to love everywhere we go. I have a list of people who I have fallen completely in love with everywhere we have lived. As hard as moving so often can be, I am grateful because you are part of my life. I'll carry you in my heart forever. It doesn't matter if we talk daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, you mean more to us than words can say.
I've done this 3 times in the course of a life that I thought would never take me more than 20 minutes from my parents, my family, my home. One was before kids. I think it was actually harder before kids. Lucky for me, God threw Heath's Aunt and Uncle in my path. Literally. They lived 15 minutes away and saw that I needed someone to have my back. They refused to give up on me. They saved my sanity and helped me learn how to really pull myself up by the bootstraps and to "put on my big girl panties", right Laverne!?!
Six months after they started their part in loving me through it all, we met the best friends we could have ever asked for. I still call Kristin any time I really need an ear that understands what I'm going through because she knows better than almost anyone what I've been through before, so she knows how to deal with what I'm going through now. That's a best friend! We "grew up" in our marriages together. We had babies together. They are some of the best family we got to handpick as our own. Someday, Kristin and Jeremy, we will live close again!
After leaving them, I think the only reason that I haven't ended up a crying puddle of goo that can't move from the floor is because I now have 3 little souls to take care of, lead, teach, and put before any self-centered indulgence I might have. No matter how huge that pull to cry in a closet for days on end might be, I cannot do it. Who would get my babies to school, feed them, care for them, make them dinner, love on them like I do? Honestly, if I lost it, no one could take my place. I'm not saying that to be egocentric, full of myself, or prideful. I am their mother. There is literally no one else who can take my place. I have a job, duty, full-hearted desire to be there. Be present. Be their rock even if I can't be my own. Be everything for them that I want them to be. They are learning from me, so I'll fake it until I make it if I have to.
Moving without kids was hard enough, but that need for a kindered spirit intensifies a million times when you have little ones to take care of. Finding someone who can identify one hundered percent with the anxiety you have about raising another human being in a way that makes them a caring, loving, productive member of society helps ease the burden. It's the biggest job anyone can ever have. Being a parent. Doing it without a support group is incredibly scary, daunting, overwhelming.
You know how I know God exists and loves me (aside from all of the blessings I have in front of my face daily)? Because every single time we have moved and been isolated and on our own, He has given us faces full of love, caring, understanding, immediate acceptance. Faces who have taken up a part of our hearts and become family.
I have wonderful parents. I would give anything to be closer to "home" to see them daily. To see my brothers and in-laws daily. To watch our nieces and nephews grow and learn. To hug on them every single day. Until that is a possibility, we fully embrace the people who take us in, love us, accept us, enjoy us, and make us feel like we have a home away from home.
I would love to list you all from day one. I hope and pray you know who you are, even without your name written here for all to see. From grade school right on up. Right now, I am incredibly thankful for the Archuleta family, for the connection I've made with Veronica and her kids (and yes, Jarrod, you too, even though we've only gotten our families together a time or two), to Diana (who is going through something far harder than I could ever imagine), for the Santa Fe family we weren't sure we would have, but were surprised to find so quickly.
Ohio/West Virginia people you know who you are! Midland people...you know who you are! I could go on and on about Midland people. You all might be a whole different blog post. Friendswood people. Grade school, high school, college people...I think/hope you know who you are.
Huge win finding people to love everywhere we go. I have a list of people who I have fallen completely in love with everywhere we have lived. As hard as moving so often can be, I am grateful because you are part of my life. I'll carry you in my heart forever. It doesn't matter if we talk daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, you mean more to us than words can say.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
On Brushing Kid Teeth
Here are my deep and very controversial opinions on...kid teeth. How simple, yet how incredibly difficult it can be sometimes.
Hannah was put completely under anesthesia at age 3 to have some issues with her teeth taken care of. She had 6 caps and several other tooth-colored fillings done. IT. WAS. AWFUL.
I'll never forget the devastation and incredible guilt I felt when we found out exactly what was going on in her mouth. It was a huge blow. We brushed twice a day. We let her do it on her own in the morning and we would make sure she had a thorough night brushing. She has never had excessive amounts of sugar (although, the girl does love cake and cookies...she is mine after all)! We thought we were doing it right and were on top of things. Apparently, we were wrong.
The dentist we saw was incredibly comforting. He assured us this was probably nothing we could have prevented. She has super soft baby teeth and according to him, it was bound to happen. Several of his own kids had the same issue.
Still. There was that guilt.
Especially on the day she got everything corrected.
We walked in to the office first thing in the morning. Since she was so young, she was first on the list. The anesthesiologist came out, gave her a shot that was supposed to knock her completely loopy and sat with us for about 10 minutes. Hannah was still begging to go home and seemed aware, but at the same time was completely out of it. Like she was a more than drunk 18-year-old at their first college party. That was terrifying for a me to see as a parent. I was starting to panic watching her unsual behavior and inability to focus. It was very unnerving.
He asked if I wanted him to give her more because he had never seen a kid fight it like Hannah was fighting it. I immediately told him NO and to take her back to see how it went. Turns out, even though she was answering our questions and forming complete thoughts, she was definitely out of it. He didn't bring her back to me, but got her all the way under without a fight.
It took them over an hour to correct everything. When it was over, they wanted me to be the only one with her as she woke up to make it "easier". I spent 20 minutes in a room alone with her wrestling to keep her safe as she very angrily came out of her anesthesia. Anyone ever fought to hold and keep a 40-lb kid safe as they came out of anesthesia? It was not fun. I was also 8 weeks pregnant with Logan at the time and was terrified that she was going to (very unintentionally) kick me right in the stomach. Luckily, we all came out unharmed, but completley exhausted. They sent us home before she could even stand up on her own.
It was a rough afternoon. Hours later, she tried to walk for the first time. It was very unsuccessful. I had to hold her under the armpits to keep her on her feet. She finally came out of it, but I vowed to never see one of my kids look like that for teeth again.
The next month was a nightmare of her screaming in pain every time we brushed. The toothbrush came out bloody every time. We saw 3 different dentists. It was the third dentist who (while still not locating the problem) sat us down and showed us how to properly brush. This didn't fix the problem (as she had cement from her work left in her mouth at the gum line causing the irritation...we found this out 2 months later at a routine dentist visit), but it did help with the pain and bleeding.
He showed me how to lay her head down in my lap to have the best view of all of her teeth.
He explained that scrubbing with the toothbrush did nothing but spread the food around. He showed how to do VERY gentle circles to get the food out because that is what the brushes were designed for. We had a happy camper again! Seriously! No pressure needed on those sweet little teeth! I always thought that was the way to get teeth squeeky clean. I was wrong!
She also has a very sensitive gag reflex. Telling her to open her mouth as wide as she can while I get those back teeth has alleviated this particular problem. We still implement this method for brushing those pesky molars.
We sing songs as we brush, as well. That makes her more involved in the nightly brushing and helps time go faster.
She is in charge of her own morning brushing. She does a great job and accepts guidance without a fight. She's a pretty awesome little lady!
Sometimes you are just born with good teeth genes. Hannah happened to not be. I hadn't gone to the dentist in an embarrassing number of months (Ok, fine. Years.) and neither had Heath. After we moved to Santa Fe, we decided it was time for us to get on the tooth exam train that we forced the kids to be on. I literally flossed the day I went to the dentist...for the first time in several years. Heath had been flossing every day for a long time. The denist told him to floss daily since he clearly wasn't doing that. I was told to keep up whatever I was doing because my teeth were in great shape and had obviously been flossed regularly. I was happy. Heath....not so much.
Win on happy teeth genes. Fail on realizing my kids might not be so lucky! Now I know, though! The other two Lynch babies have passed their dental exams with flying colors...so far.
Hannah was put completely under anesthesia at age 3 to have some issues with her teeth taken care of. She had 6 caps and several other tooth-colored fillings done. IT. WAS. AWFUL.
I'll never forget the devastation and incredible guilt I felt when we found out exactly what was going on in her mouth. It was a huge blow. We brushed twice a day. We let her do it on her own in the morning and we would make sure she had a thorough night brushing. She has never had excessive amounts of sugar (although, the girl does love cake and cookies...she is mine after all)! We thought we were doing it right and were on top of things. Apparently, we were wrong.
The dentist we saw was incredibly comforting. He assured us this was probably nothing we could have prevented. She has super soft baby teeth and according to him, it was bound to happen. Several of his own kids had the same issue.
Still. There was that guilt.
Especially on the day she got everything corrected.
We walked in to the office first thing in the morning. Since she was so young, she was first on the list. The anesthesiologist came out, gave her a shot that was supposed to knock her completely loopy and sat with us for about 10 minutes. Hannah was still begging to go home and seemed aware, but at the same time was completely out of it. Like she was a more than drunk 18-year-old at their first college party. That was terrifying for a me to see as a parent. I was starting to panic watching her unsual behavior and inability to focus. It was very unnerving.
He asked if I wanted him to give her more because he had never seen a kid fight it like Hannah was fighting it. I immediately told him NO and to take her back to see how it went. Turns out, even though she was answering our questions and forming complete thoughts, she was definitely out of it. He didn't bring her back to me, but got her all the way under without a fight.
It took them over an hour to correct everything. When it was over, they wanted me to be the only one with her as she woke up to make it "easier". I spent 20 minutes in a room alone with her wrestling to keep her safe as she very angrily came out of her anesthesia. Anyone ever fought to hold and keep a 40-lb kid safe as they came out of anesthesia? It was not fun. I was also 8 weeks pregnant with Logan at the time and was terrified that she was going to (very unintentionally) kick me right in the stomach. Luckily, we all came out unharmed, but completley exhausted. They sent us home before she could even stand up on her own.
We always tell her how lucky she is to have special shiny teeth. Parenthood lie number...I'm not even sure what number this was. It's not a big deal and we didn't want her to feel different, so we tried to make it seem fun. She didn't really buy it.
It was a rough afternoon. Hours later, she tried to walk for the first time. It was very unsuccessful. I had to hold her under the armpits to keep her on her feet. She finally came out of it, but I vowed to never see one of my kids look like that for teeth again.
The next month was a nightmare of her screaming in pain every time we brushed. The toothbrush came out bloody every time. We saw 3 different dentists. It was the third dentist who (while still not locating the problem) sat us down and showed us how to properly brush. This didn't fix the problem (as she had cement from her work left in her mouth at the gum line causing the irritation...we found this out 2 months later at a routine dentist visit), but it did help with the pain and bleeding.
He showed me how to lay her head down in my lap to have the best view of all of her teeth.
It's also super easy to pull the cheeks gently back to really get a good angle on those back teeth from here, which I couldn't do successfully here since I don't have a third hand to hold the camera.
He explained that scrubbing with the toothbrush did nothing but spread the food around. He showed how to do VERY gentle circles to get the food out because that is what the brushes were designed for. We had a happy camper again! Seriously! No pressure needed on those sweet little teeth! I always thought that was the way to get teeth squeeky clean. I was wrong!
Love this sweet smile!
She also has a very sensitive gag reflex. Telling her to open her mouth as wide as she can while I get those back teeth has alleviated this particular problem. We still implement this method for brushing those pesky molars.
We sing songs as we brush, as well. That makes her more involved in the nightly brushing and helps time go faster.
She is in charge of her own morning brushing. She does a great job and accepts guidance without a fight. She's a pretty awesome little lady!
Sometimes you are just born with good teeth genes. Hannah happened to not be. I hadn't gone to the dentist in an embarrassing number of months (Ok, fine. Years.) and neither had Heath. After we moved to Santa Fe, we decided it was time for us to get on the tooth exam train that we forced the kids to be on. I literally flossed the day I went to the dentist...for the first time in several years. Heath had been flossing every day for a long time. The denist told him to floss daily since he clearly wasn't doing that. I was told to keep up whatever I was doing because my teeth were in great shape and had obviously been flossed regularly. I was happy. Heath....not so much.
Win on happy teeth genes. Fail on realizing my kids might not be so lucky! Now I know, though! The other two Lynch babies have passed their dental exams with flying colors...so far.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
On Our Happily Ever After
9 years ago today, at 2:30 in the afternoon, the ceremony that would define the rest of our lives began. One of the coolest moments was that on a perfectly clear day, there was a huge clap of thunder the second we kissed and sealed the deal. There was a short little rain shower and then the rest of the day was sunny and beautiful.
We actually missed that happening, but had quite a few people tell us about it at the reception. On our way to our hotel that night, we laughed about it and wondered if God was happy and clapping or if He was thundering mad about us being married.
9 years later, I think it's safe to say He was happily clapping.
So, here are my thoughts on marriage.
1. Marry your best friend. Marry the person you can't wait to talk to at the end of the day. The person you want to immediately share every joy, struggle and sorrow with.
2. Laugh together as often as possible. We joke around with each other all of the time. Sometimes people don't know how to take us. They can't tell if we are having a great time or are about to rip each other's heads off. It's fun for us to make people uncomfortable. Sorry people!
3. It's going to get rough sometimes, but don't stop fighting for each other. We are (hopefully) on the other side of a rough patch. Luckily for us, it only lasts a few days and then all is forgiven and forgotten.
4. Forgive and forget. The forgive part is easy. The forget part, not so much. The only person you are hurting by hanging on to anger and resentment is yourself. We are all human and make mistakes. Give your spouse the same grace you want them to give you.
5. Try not to fight. Some of you who thrive on conflict are laughing right now. We don't happen to be aggressive people. I personally hate conflict. I can probably count on one hand the number of times that we've had actual fights. That being said...
6. It's OK to get irritated and upset. Just make sure you talk about it. It took us several years to get to the point where we could be completely honest about how we were feeling. We didn't want to hurt each other's feelings or make the other person feel unloved. We have a lot more trust now that we are completely honest and open. We know we are safe coming to each other about not so pleasant things because we know we will still love each other once it's been said.
7. Try to put each other first. I know in the craziness of life, especially for those of us with kids, it can be really hard. They don't have to be big things, though, guys. Make them their favorite meal. Help them clean up something that you don't normally take responsibility for. I love taking Heath Starbucks when he's been at work for a few hours and I have some free time. It's an easy thing for me to do that let's him know I'm thinking about him and appreciate the hard work he does for our family.
8. Hug and touch each other. Heath can't walk by me without smacking me on the booty. It makes me laugh every time. I told him once that I'll know something is wrong in our relationship when he walks by and doesn't give me my love smack. I like to get in his way and hug him when he's in the middle of something. One because it irritates him in a "I'm going to roll my eyes, but would really miss this if you stopped" kind of way. Two because I just can't help it. Sometimes I just really need to hug him.
9. Be selfless, not selfish. One of the biggest things that we do that helps when things get tough is to take a step back and look at things from each other's perspective. As humans, it's very easy to get wrapped up in our own needs and wants, but it is important to see things from the other side.
10. Just love each other.
We are by no means experts on marriage and love, but whatever we are doing is working...so far. I love that man more and more every year, day, minute that passes. So, Heath Lynch, just remember that I love you with all my heart and will for all of our days. I meant what I said when we took our vows. You are everything...until death do us part...and beyond.
We actually missed that happening, but had quite a few people tell us about it at the reception. On our way to our hotel that night, we laughed about it and wondered if God was happy and clapping or if He was thundering mad about us being married.
9 years later, I think it's safe to say He was happily clapping.
So, here are my thoughts on marriage.
1. Marry your best friend. Marry the person you can't wait to talk to at the end of the day. The person you want to immediately share every joy, struggle and sorrow with.
2. Laugh together as often as possible. We joke around with each other all of the time. Sometimes people don't know how to take us. They can't tell if we are having a great time or are about to rip each other's heads off. It's fun for us to make people uncomfortable. Sorry people!
3. It's going to get rough sometimes, but don't stop fighting for each other. We are (hopefully) on the other side of a rough patch. Luckily for us, it only lasts a few days and then all is forgiven and forgotten.
4. Forgive and forget. The forgive part is easy. The forget part, not so much. The only person you are hurting by hanging on to anger and resentment is yourself. We are all human and make mistakes. Give your spouse the same grace you want them to give you.
5. Try not to fight. Some of you who thrive on conflict are laughing right now. We don't happen to be aggressive people. I personally hate conflict. I can probably count on one hand the number of times that we've had actual fights. That being said...
6. It's OK to get irritated and upset. Just make sure you talk about it. It took us several years to get to the point where we could be completely honest about how we were feeling. We didn't want to hurt each other's feelings or make the other person feel unloved. We have a lot more trust now that we are completely honest and open. We know we are safe coming to each other about not so pleasant things because we know we will still love each other once it's been said.
7. Try to put each other first. I know in the craziness of life, especially for those of us with kids, it can be really hard. They don't have to be big things, though, guys. Make them their favorite meal. Help them clean up something that you don't normally take responsibility for. I love taking Heath Starbucks when he's been at work for a few hours and I have some free time. It's an easy thing for me to do that let's him know I'm thinking about him and appreciate the hard work he does for our family.
8. Hug and touch each other. Heath can't walk by me without smacking me on the booty. It makes me laugh every time. I told him once that I'll know something is wrong in our relationship when he walks by and doesn't give me my love smack. I like to get in his way and hug him when he's in the middle of something. One because it irritates him in a "I'm going to roll my eyes, but would really miss this if you stopped" kind of way. Two because I just can't help it. Sometimes I just really need to hug him.
9. Be selfless, not selfish. One of the biggest things that we do that helps when things get tough is to take a step back and look at things from each other's perspective. As humans, it's very easy to get wrapped up in our own needs and wants, but it is important to see things from the other side.
10. Just love each other.
We are by no means experts on marriage and love, but whatever we are doing is working...so far. I love that man more and more every year, day, minute that passes. So, Heath Lynch, just remember that I love you with all my heart and will for all of our days. I meant what I said when we took our vows. You are everything...until death do us part...and beyond.
Monday, August 11, 2014
On Back to School
Just a few short months ago, I was wondering what on Earth I was going to come up with to keep us busy all summer. I was sure it was going to crawl by. Guess what? It FLEW. The girls had orientation today and school starts for real tomorrow. What?!? Where the heck did summer go?
We had big plans to hit a water park, go to the zoo, go to the Children's Museum, Library, and play at the park every day. We did almost none of these things. The days flew right on by! We did make it to the park about once a week. We went to a water park when we were on vacation. We made it to the library once, too. The girls each had gymnastics once a week. That was it...all summer. Most days, we were happy right here just enjoying our yard and all of the fun toys we have in this house.
Looking back on summers growing up, we didn't rush from one thing to the next. Our days weren't planned full of activities, yet we still had a great time. I have wonderful memories of playing outside, reading all day, playing goofy games with my brothers, and spending time at the pool. We didn't rush from place to place and thing to thing to fill the hours. We just enjoyed the time relaxing at home.
Last week as we rushed through store after store filling the school supply lists and stocking up on uniforms, I was ready for the craziness of having three kids at home all of the time to end. I have been looking foward to back to school more than I should. I'm ready for a minute to sit and breathe and not be constantly filling kid needs. Having just Logan here is going to feel like vacation.
I feel a little guilty and selfish saying that, but it's true. My patience level is going to jump tremendously starting tomorrow. I won't be nearly as tired at the end of the day. I'll have a little time just for me again.
I sat down last night to plan out what I'm going to do with my new found freedom. I'm going to finally get this house all the way clean all at one time. I'm going to sit in the silence while Logan naps and read. I'm going to eat lunch before my food gets cold. I'm going to play just with Logan. I'm going to get in a routine of working out. And then I ran out of ideas and realized what I'm going to miss even more than a quiet, clean house.
I'm going to miss the girls. I'm going to want to do puzzles and hug them in the middle of the day. I'm going to drink chocolate milk in the afternoon and wish they were here drinking some with me. I'm going to plan their favorite meals for dinner so that they know I was thinking about them all day. I'm going to get bored during Logan's nap.
As much as I'm looking forward to the freedom that sending them to school grants me, I'm sure going to miss their laughter and their sweet little smiles during the day.
I'm conflicted today, guys. I am very much ready for school to start for selfish reasons, but for some different selfish reasons, I'm not at all ready for school to start.
So, for the rest of today, I'm going to make my last weekday with all of my kids count. And when tomorrow hits, and I only have one little sweetie here with me for most of the day, I'm going to fill the time with things I've been longing to do all summer. I'm sure going to enjoy this first week with the girls at school, but I'm going to be more than ready to have them back with me all day Saturday.
We had big plans to hit a water park, go to the zoo, go to the Children's Museum, Library, and play at the park every day. We did almost none of these things. The days flew right on by! We did make it to the park about once a week. We went to a water park when we were on vacation. We made it to the library once, too. The girls each had gymnastics once a week. That was it...all summer. Most days, we were happy right here just enjoying our yard and all of the fun toys we have in this house.
Looking back on summers growing up, we didn't rush from one thing to the next. Our days weren't planned full of activities, yet we still had a great time. I have wonderful memories of playing outside, reading all day, playing goofy games with my brothers, and spending time at the pool. We didn't rush from place to place and thing to thing to fill the hours. We just enjoyed the time relaxing at home.
Last week as we rushed through store after store filling the school supply lists and stocking up on uniforms, I was ready for the craziness of having three kids at home all of the time to end. I have been looking foward to back to school more than I should. I'm ready for a minute to sit and breathe and not be constantly filling kid needs. Having just Logan here is going to feel like vacation.
I feel a little guilty and selfish saying that, but it's true. My patience level is going to jump tremendously starting tomorrow. I won't be nearly as tired at the end of the day. I'll have a little time just for me again.
I sat down last night to plan out what I'm going to do with my new found freedom. I'm going to finally get this house all the way clean all at one time. I'm going to sit in the silence while Logan naps and read. I'm going to eat lunch before my food gets cold. I'm going to play just with Logan. I'm going to get in a routine of working out. And then I ran out of ideas and realized what I'm going to miss even more than a quiet, clean house.
I'm going to miss the girls. I'm going to want to do puzzles and hug them in the middle of the day. I'm going to drink chocolate milk in the afternoon and wish they were here drinking some with me. I'm going to plan their favorite meals for dinner so that they know I was thinking about them all day. I'm going to get bored during Logan's nap.
As much as I'm looking forward to the freedom that sending them to school grants me, I'm sure going to miss their laughter and their sweet little smiles during the day.
I'm conflicted today, guys. I am very much ready for school to start for selfish reasons, but for some different selfish reasons, I'm not at all ready for school to start.
So, for the rest of today, I'm going to make my last weekday with all of my kids count. And when tomorrow hits, and I only have one little sweetie here with me for most of the day, I'm going to fill the time with things I've been longing to do all summer. I'm sure going to enjoy this first week with the girls at school, but I'm going to be more than ready to have them back with me all day Saturday.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
On Taco Tuesday
I spend way more time than I should searching for recipes that I think the whole family will love. Thank you, Pinterest, for making it way easier than having to dig through cookbook after cookbook! I like to meet the needs of everyone in one meal so that I don't have hungry, cranky people on my hands. The kids love simple, cheese filled meals. Heath is working his butt off...literally...and likes a healthy meal that fills him up. The man has lost over 30 lbs in the past 4 months or so and is looking amazing. I don't want to sabatoge that!
Know what meal everyone agrees on that we have weekly? Tacos! So why not on Tuesday? It has a nice ring to it. It helps that I know exactly what to make every single Tuesday.
I have spent way too much time making time consuming meals that I don't particularly love just to try and please everyone. I am not a foodie. I am a picky eater with simple taste buds, so putting extra thought and work into something I'm not really going to appreciate seems a bit pointless...unless everyone else likes it. It is then worth it's weight in gold.
Heath is a man of few words and doesn't praise a lot of things. Not because he doesn't appreciate them. I know he does, but he doesn't typically show it through words. Want to know the only meal I make that he will look at the kids and say, "Did you thank Mommy for a delicious dinner?" about? TACOS! Say, what? The meal I put the least effort into gets the biggest praise!
So, here you go!
TACO TUESDAY TACOS
1 lb lean ground beef or ground turkey
1/4 cup taco seasoning mix (or a pre-packaged taco seasoning pack or your own pre-made
taco seasoning mix...that would be awesome!)
2/3 cup of water
Tortillas
Shredded Lettuce
Shredded Cheese (we like the Mexican cheese mix)
Tomato
Avocado
Onion
Salsa and/or guacomole
Sour Cream
1. Brown your beef/turkey. Add 1/4 cup of taco seasoning and your water. Let simmer until the mixture thickens.
2. Chop up your avocado, tomato, and onion. Make your guacomole if you are a make it
from scratch kind of person. Heath is, I am not. When I "cook" we use pre-made stuff.
3. Do whatever the heck you want with the above ingredients.
* For the kids, I mix ground beef, smashed up avocado, and cheese together. I
give them that in a bowl with a warm tortilla on the side and they down every
bite.
* Heath and I usually eat ours taco salad style with a big bed of lettuce and
and all of our toppings piled on top. If we have healthy tortillas, we'll do things
soft taco style like a normal person.
I'm not sure why such a simple, every day recipe works so well, but let's not question it too much. It's a perfect weeknight meal for a person like me who isn't a great chef and doesn't really love cooking. You can really do whatever you want with it. Sometimes we have chips and guacomole on the side. Usually we just put the guacomole on top of our taco salad with salsa to give it a little more taste.
I always feel good about myself and give myself a pat on the back on Taco Tuesday. Everyone eats. No one complains. No one goes to bed hungry.
Finding a meal that the whole family will devour is a definite win! Please pass on any recipes that your whole family loves. We are always on the look out for yummy and popular meals here!
Know what meal everyone agrees on that we have weekly? Tacos! So why not on Tuesday? It has a nice ring to it. It helps that I know exactly what to make every single Tuesday.
I have spent way too much time making time consuming meals that I don't particularly love just to try and please everyone. I am not a foodie. I am a picky eater with simple taste buds, so putting extra thought and work into something I'm not really going to appreciate seems a bit pointless...unless everyone else likes it. It is then worth it's weight in gold.
Heath is a man of few words and doesn't praise a lot of things. Not because he doesn't appreciate them. I know he does, but he doesn't typically show it through words. Want to know the only meal I make that he will look at the kids and say, "Did you thank Mommy for a delicious dinner?" about? TACOS! Say, what? The meal I put the least effort into gets the biggest praise!
So, here you go!
TACO TUESDAY TACOS
1 lb lean ground beef or ground turkey
1/4 cup taco seasoning mix (or a pre-packaged taco seasoning pack or your own pre-made
taco seasoning mix...that would be awesome!)
2/3 cup of water
Tortillas
Shredded Lettuce
Shredded Cheese (we like the Mexican cheese mix)
Tomato
Avocado
Onion
Salsa and/or guacomole
Sour Cream
1. Brown your beef/turkey. Add 1/4 cup of taco seasoning and your water. Let simmer until the mixture thickens.
2. Chop up your avocado, tomato, and onion. Make your guacomole if you are a make it
from scratch kind of person. Heath is, I am not. When I "cook" we use pre-made stuff.
3. Do whatever the heck you want with the above ingredients.
* For the kids, I mix ground beef, smashed up avocado, and cheese together. I
give them that in a bowl with a warm tortilla on the side and they down every
bite.
* Heath and I usually eat ours taco salad style with a big bed of lettuce and
and all of our toppings piled on top. If we have healthy tortillas, we'll do things
soft taco style like a normal person.
I'm not sure why such a simple, every day recipe works so well, but let's not question it too much. It's a perfect weeknight meal for a person like me who isn't a great chef and doesn't really love cooking. You can really do whatever you want with it. Sometimes we have chips and guacomole on the side. Usually we just put the guacomole on top of our taco salad with salsa to give it a little more taste.
I always feel good about myself and give myself a pat on the back on Taco Tuesday. Everyone eats. No one complains. No one goes to bed hungry.
Finding a meal that the whole family will devour is a definite win! Please pass on any recipes that your whole family loves. We are always on the look out for yummy and popular meals here!
On Bedtime for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Bedtime with toddlers can sometimes be just about as fun as having all of your teeth pulled...one at a time...without numbing medicine. I have never understood why little ones love to fight sleep so much. I cannot wait to hop into bed most nights. Some days, it's my absolute favorite time of day. Having a little one interrupt that for me makes me crazy. Mainly because I know that without my quiet time and good sleep, I'm going to be a cranky, irritated, impatient mess the next day.
We have been relatively lucky with our kids at bedtime. The girls were wonderful sleepers almost right from the start. Hannah was sleeping 8 to 8 by 12-weeks-old. Camden was very close to that, as well. Logan was a different story. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 7-months-old. That's a long story that has nothing to do with toddlers going to bed, so I won't get into it. He's 16-months-old now and sleeps from 7 until 7 most days, so luckily, his poor sleep days seem to be over.
His bedtime is simple. We give him a bath, he has some milk, we brush his teeth, change his diaper, snuggle him in for a quick prayer, and then stick him in bed. Some nights he may cry a little, but it's usually less than 5 minutes before he is quietly sleeping. The crib is a life-saver. I have a feeling when it's time for a toddler bed, he will be a hard one to keep in bed. My fingers are crossed that he loves his crib until he is at least 8.
The girls have definitely given us some moments of frustration with bedtime. When Hannah was 3 1/2 and Camden was almost 2, we went through the ringer for several months. Camden was still in a crib, and this is when she started learning to cry it out. I remember nights when she would wail for an hour before she finally fell to sleep. She would also wake up through the night. Around this same time, Hannah decided she wasn't going to stay in bed or fall asleep until at least 10 pm. That was not OK. Heath and I are early to bed kind of people. Most nights we are in bed before 9 and asleep shortly after. Dorks, right?
We have never rocked our kids to sleep or put them in bed with us to get them to sleep, so we were determined not to start something that would require her needing us to get to sleep. After a month of trying everything we could think of short of putting a lock on her door (which we almost did), we gave in and would lay down with her at bedtime. Laying there for 20-30 minutes until she fell asleep was easier on everyone than fighting to keep her in bed for 2 hours.
I should mention that she was also getting up in the middle of the night during this time. The fights at bedtime and seeing kids in the middle of the night every night was exhausting us and was turning into a nightmare.
We finally had enough and decided to put them in bed together. It was an almost instant miracle. They stayed in bed at bedtime and they started sleeping through the night again. They just wanted a warm body close by. That was all it took. They have shared a room ever since.
We've had other issues since then with them getting up in the middle of the night and not staying in bed at bedtime, so here are some things we've tried and had success using.
* If you have kids that are close in age, try putting them in the same room or even the same bed.
* A sticker chart. We would give them a sticker every morning that they stayed in bed at bedtime and through the night. If they got a full week of stickers, they would get a prize.
* Threats worked wonders. We are that kind of parent. Yay, us! The first threat was that we would shut their door. This worked for a bit until they realized that with their door shut, we had a harder time hearing them. They would get up and play even longer. We caught on quickly, so then the threat became that we would open their door. Stinkers. We have also threatened to take away their favorite stuffed animals and to move them to separate rooms. They tested us on these...once. They were not happy campers when we stuck to our word.
* I've had friends who have had to resort to putting a lock on the outside of the door that would lock their child in. I've heard of using baby gates at the door for this same reason, as well. We never tested this one with our kids, but whatever works!
* Set a routine if you don't already have one. I am a firm believer that routines for kids matter big time. We have always had a set time that they go to bed. We try to follow the same bedtime routines as far as brushing teeth, saying prayers, and reading stories, as well. It helps get them in the right mindset and helps them wind down from the day.
The most important thing you should know is that this won't last forever. I know it feels like it when you are in the middle of it and frustrated and exhausted, but it will be a distant memory soon. Pick a method to try and stick with it for a few weeks. Changing a routine doesn't make a miracle happen overnight. Be consistent. Stick to your word. And good luck!
We have been relatively lucky with our kids at bedtime. The girls were wonderful sleepers almost right from the start. Hannah was sleeping 8 to 8 by 12-weeks-old. Camden was very close to that, as well. Logan was a different story. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 7-months-old. That's a long story that has nothing to do with toddlers going to bed, so I won't get into it. He's 16-months-old now and sleeps from 7 until 7 most days, so luckily, his poor sleep days seem to be over.
His bedtime is simple. We give him a bath, he has some milk, we brush his teeth, change his diaper, snuggle him in for a quick prayer, and then stick him in bed. Some nights he may cry a little, but it's usually less than 5 minutes before he is quietly sleeping. The crib is a life-saver. I have a feeling when it's time for a toddler bed, he will be a hard one to keep in bed. My fingers are crossed that he loves his crib until he is at least 8.
The girls have definitely given us some moments of frustration with bedtime. When Hannah was 3 1/2 and Camden was almost 2, we went through the ringer for several months. Camden was still in a crib, and this is when she started learning to cry it out. I remember nights when she would wail for an hour before she finally fell to sleep. She would also wake up through the night. Around this same time, Hannah decided she wasn't going to stay in bed or fall asleep until at least 10 pm. That was not OK. Heath and I are early to bed kind of people. Most nights we are in bed before 9 and asleep shortly after. Dorks, right?
We have never rocked our kids to sleep or put them in bed with us to get them to sleep, so we were determined not to start something that would require her needing us to get to sleep. After a month of trying everything we could think of short of putting a lock on her door (which we almost did), we gave in and would lay down with her at bedtime. Laying there for 20-30 minutes until she fell asleep was easier on everyone than fighting to keep her in bed for 2 hours.
I should mention that she was also getting up in the middle of the night during this time. The fights at bedtime and seeing kids in the middle of the night every night was exhausting us and was turning into a nightmare.
We finally had enough and decided to put them in bed together. It was an almost instant miracle. They stayed in bed at bedtime and they started sleeping through the night again. They just wanted a warm body close by. That was all it took. They have shared a room ever since.
We've had other issues since then with them getting up in the middle of the night and not staying in bed at bedtime, so here are some things we've tried and had success using.
* If you have kids that are close in age, try putting them in the same room or even the same bed.
* A sticker chart. We would give them a sticker every morning that they stayed in bed at bedtime and through the night. If they got a full week of stickers, they would get a prize.
* Threats worked wonders. We are that kind of parent. Yay, us! The first threat was that we would shut their door. This worked for a bit until they realized that with their door shut, we had a harder time hearing them. They would get up and play even longer. We caught on quickly, so then the threat became that we would open their door. Stinkers. We have also threatened to take away their favorite stuffed animals and to move them to separate rooms. They tested us on these...once. They were not happy campers when we stuck to our word.
* I've had friends who have had to resort to putting a lock on the outside of the door that would lock their child in. I've heard of using baby gates at the door for this same reason, as well. We never tested this one with our kids, but whatever works!
* Set a routine if you don't already have one. I am a firm believer that routines for kids matter big time. We have always had a set time that they go to bed. We try to follow the same bedtime routines as far as brushing teeth, saying prayers, and reading stories, as well. It helps get them in the right mindset and helps them wind down from the day.
The most important thing you should know is that this won't last forever. I know it feels like it when you are in the middle of it and frustrated and exhausted, but it will be a distant memory soon. Pick a method to try and stick with it for a few weeks. Changing a routine doesn't make a miracle happen overnight. Be consistent. Stick to your word. And good luck!
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