On Being Peed On

We went on vacation with my husband's extended family this past week to a beautiful lake in Kentucky.  It was memorable, to say the least, for some very good and some very not-so-good reasons.  I'll write a blog (or two) about that this week after I decompress for a bit.  This is a quick, funny little story about our little man.

I devoted a whole blog to what kind of traveler Logan has turned into a few weeks back.  We knew car travel was a miserable thing for him, but we were still very naively holding out hope that riding on an airplane might go differently for him.  It.  Did.  Not.  He seemed to hate it even more and spent his time on the flights crying, fussing, and climbing all over us.  We were all exhausted by the time we landed in St. Louis on our way to the lake.  We had a three hour car ride on top of that fun little experience after we landed.  He actually did a lot better in the car this time.  I think he just gave up and the fight went out of him.

I'm tempted to go chronologically here and write a whole long thing about how the week went, but I'm going to resist and will spend this week writing several blogs about the trip so that I don't end up writing a 4 chapter novel that you have to sit and read all at once.  Yawnsville.

Man, I'm terrible at short stories!  I'm already into the fourth paragraph and haven't started my pee story.  Shut it, Casey, and get to the point!

Fast forward a week to leaving day.  By the time we returned our rental car, muscled 5 checked bags, 5 carry-ons, 3 children and a stroller into the airport and through security, we had about 20 minutes before our flight started boarding.  We thought we would let the kids run and get out energy, but then we saw a nifty little place called "Beers of the World" and we decided a big old beer might get us through this first two hours on a plane with the most horrible little traveler ever.

As we were waiting on our beer to be delivered, Logan filled his pants with a not so pleasant smelling little gem.  I grabbed a diaper, the wipes, and set off to get this job done.  We walked into the women's room...no changing station.  UMMMMM...we left.  Further investigation led us to the "Family Assistance" room or some such nonsense.  Eureka!  Just what we were looking for.

Logan hates these changing stations, so he started getting a little nervous the minute I pulled it down and set up diaper changing shop.  I was in full on Mommy mode and got that diaper off and the butt clean in record time.  I stepped down to the end of the changing table, lobbed the diaper straight into the trash can (score!) and felt something wet hitting my feet.  Any guesses?

The boy was peeing a magnificent rainbow of pee right off of that table all over the bathroom floor...and my feet.  Both of our faces were a mirror of each other when we realized what was happening.  We looked at each other in shock for a second before I screamed, "OH, NO!" and started laughing.  He wasn't as impressed as I was and started crying.  Lucky for him, he came out without a drop of pee on him.

Have you ever cleaned a puddle of pee off of a public restroom floor?  I gagged quite a few times before it was all over.  I also had to use baby wipes to get as much pee off of my feet and sandals as possible so that I didn't smell like a walking diaper all day.

The story ended well with an ice cold beer and a laughing fit like we haven't had in a long time over this little adventure.  It was just a taste of what we had coming with that boy on the flights home.

Finding a way to laugh in a situation that isn't ideal is always a win.  Let's be honest, there really wasn't anything else I could do.  It was pretty darn funny.

On Fight Club

Isn't the first rule of Fight Club (or one of them) that nobody talks about fight club?  My girls clearly didn't hear that rule.  I can't even begin to count how many times in a day I hear, "MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!  She hit me!!!  She kicked me!!!!  She threw that toy at my head!!!"  Ai-yi-yi!  I am going to lose my mind, which is scary since there isn't much of it left after three kids!

These might be staged.  You couldn't tell, could you?  Their faces crack me up!

This is how I want them to look at all times.

I don't know if it's summer boredom or if they are still adjusting to seeing each other all day every day after a year at school.  They were getting along great during the school year, but I'm convinced it's because their time together was so limited.  You guys, they are 5 and 3.  What on earth will 15 and 13 look like?

I am also woman enough to admit that there are days when I want to punch them each in the face.  Ok, not really, but spanking them all day sure sounds good!  Days when I haven't had much sleep, Logan is cranky from teething, and my patience level is basically non-existent.  I have to really step back and take a deep breath so that I don't spend all day yelling and punishing them.  That's my immediate first response when they start in with the hitting at 7:30 in the morning.  

I spent about a week trying the punishment thing:  taking away favorite toys, revoking TV privileges, separating them for hours on end, yelling, and yes, spanking.  It just kept getting worse.  And we all kept getting more and more cranky.  Luckily, my mom reminded me about our reward jar.

I first started this when Hannah turned 3 and decided that Camden was her own personal punching bag.  My poor little Camden was only around one and half and I would hear that poor baby crying every 30 minutes or so.  If I wasn't there to witness, I would ask Hannah why she was crying.  She would look me in the eye and with no remorse say, "I hit her."  At least she was honest!  

At the end of my rope, I went the opposite direction of the negativity.  I can't remember who came up with this idea.  It was probably my mom.  She has some of the best ideas!  I headed out to Target, stocked up on dollar section toys and goodies, filled a bucket with prizes, and bought two jars and a bag of sparkly pom-poms.

The new system required me to watch Hannah like a hawk every second of the day until she got the hang of the idea.  Any time I saw her doing something I liked (playing nicely with Camden, doing things the first time she was asked, taking initiative to help, and following other rules), she would get to add pom-poms to her jar.  I would always switch up the number of pom-poms she got to add and would have her count them out as she put them in her jar (see?  It's educational, too).  When the jar was full, she got to pick a prize.

Pom-pom system.  We fill the white one for a prize.

Bucket of fun

She went three days without laying a hand on Camden when we started this the first time.  She got a LOT of prizes.  It helped change the undesirable behavior.  We are currently doing it again in this house.  It's helping!!!  It's not nearly as successful as it was the first time, but both girls are really doing their best to behave in a way that makes me stand up, notice, and praise them.  I still only have one jar.  I need to get a second with different colored pom-poms so each girl has their own jar to work toward filling.  Have you ever been to a store with three kids ages 5 and under?  That's why we don't have a second jar yet.

Hitting and being aggressive is always a fail (mainly because it makes me crazy).  Reward jars have proven to be a huge win in our house!  I've even heard them complimenting each other!  Say, what?!?

On Teething Trouble

My girls were sweet little angels when they were getting teeth.  I remember a few runny noses, some low grade fevers, and that was it!  Hannah had three molars pop through and I didn't have a single clue that she was even getting teeth.  They were teething all-stars.

Logan has not been so lucky.  I think it's funny to joke about how he's just like all men.  When they are sick or not feeling well the world ends.  Right, ladies?  One little sniffle sends them running to bed where they need to be waited on hand and foot.  Come on, guys!  Get over it!

Around here it's just that...100% a joke.  It's totally not true in this house.  When Heath is sick, he rarely even mentions it, let alone complains and ceases to be able to function.  I, on the other hand, deal with sickness a little differently.  If I am miserable, everyone around me is darn well going to be miserable, too.  I really don't do it on purpose.  I just can't help it!  This is reason #1 why there will not be any more Lynch babies, unless there is a little divine intervention.  It's 9 months of me feeling like the walking dead.  Apparently, Heath feels that way, too.

The baby bug hit me a few months ago, and I was basically on my knees on the floor begging for just one more.  Heath looked me in the eye and very calmly told me, "HELL no!  Honey, when you are pregnant, so is everyone else around you."  OOPS.  Point taken.  I'm a wimp when I feel like crap.  If I don't feel good, you shouldn't either!

Back to my son.  Who is CLEARLY my son based on the past week.  If I hadn't carried him for almost 9 months and given birth to him, this would be the proof that he is indeed my boy.  It's molar time in that little man's mouth.  Guess who is miserable and wants everyone else to be miserable, too?

I've seen a lot of this...

The sound that comes with that face is something else.  It's pretty much the worst sound on the planet.  He's not really crying, he's just miserable.  So he makes us miserable with the noise that comes out of his face every five minutes.  Poor little guy.  I hate being helpless about things like this.  I want to fix it.  First, because my babies should never be in pain.  Second, because our ears cannot take this sound much longer.  

Motrin didn't really do anything.  Chewing on cold things didn't really do anything for him. Snuggles?  Fail.  Attempts at distraction?  Fail.  Naps?  FAIL!!!  This boy naps for less than an hour right now and is up several times at night because he's just plain miserable.  Have I mentioned that he's MISERABLE?

So, naturally, we hit up the baby section at target.  And came home with these babies...

It was like a Christmas miracle!  I stuck 2 under his tongue and he was instantly back to his normal, happy little self!

SEE.....

The only downfall is that these things wear off much more quickly than drugs.  We just shove a few more under his tongue every couple of hours to get through the worst of it.  Come on, molars!  Cut through and leave my little man alone!

Teething is always a fail if it makes your baby miserable.  Luckily, there are a few wonderful products out there that can help you win your way through.  Did you guys hear the sigh of relief that came out of this house when we finally found something that worked for our little guy?

On Yelling and Hugs

We feel like it's very important for our kids to NOT be the boss in our house.  They have rules.  When they don't follow the rules, there are consequences.  No questions asked.

That is the ideal anyway.  Most days, they fight me tooth and nail on the rules and consequences.  There is a lot of crying (on their part) and begging and trying to get me to change my mind.  I swear steam shoots out of my ears some days with the frustration of it all.  Most of the time I stay strong and stick to my word.  9 times out of 10.  Some days are different.  Some days all 3 are melting down at the same time and I cave.  I give in just to quiet at least one of them down.  They also tend to bombard me in a public place.  The minute I start losing control of the situation, I give in just to get some control back and get them where I want them.  Unfortunately, this is just an illusion.  The minute I give in, I'm no longer the boss or in control, and they just took over.  You can tell by the smug looks on their sweet little rotten faces.  Mommy fail!

That being said, as much as the adult-made rules are enforced in this house, adult words and feelings aren't the only important ones.  We acknowledge how they feel.  I get that it's frustrating when you aren't getting your way.  I always let them know that I feel that way sometimes, too.  I think it helps them to know even adults have moments where we are feeling mad, upset, and frustrated.  We acknowledge that and talk about why, even though they are upset, they have to follow the rules of this family.

Part of making their feelings important is me asking them once a week or so what they like about me as a Mom and what they wish I would change.  Heath was out of town earlier this week, so as we sat and ate a calm (surprisingly...this doesn't happen often) dinner, I took the opportunity to ask both girls a few questions to see where I stand in their little minds.

Question 1:  What do you like about me as a Mom?  What do I do well?

Camden:  I love it when you hug me.  (Heart melted!)

Hannah:  I love it when you play with me, but you don't play with me very much any more.  (Heart broken.  Just a little.  We talked about why I sometimes can't do that in a day...all the needs of all three kids and all of the work around the house that needs done. I let her know that I also love playing with her, but sometimes it just can't happen as often as we would both like.  She nodded and smiled.  She got it.  She still felt loved.  WIN!)

Question 2:  What do you think I could do better as a Mom?  What do I do that you don't like?

Camden:  You don't give me hugs sometimes when I want them.  (Heart shattered.  Disclaimer on this.  She usually wants a hug when I am up to my elbows in making dinner or changing a diaper or bathing a baby.  Her timing is a little rough.  That being said, I'm making a much bigger effort to always stop what I'm doing and hug her little body every time she asks.)

Hannah:  I don't like it when you yell at me and put me in time out. (Upon further discussion, she realized that this was both of our faults.  Hers for not following the rules.  Mine for losing my cool and yelling instead of just calmly enforcing the consequence of breaking the rule.  We are women.  We are both ruled by emotions.  The teenage years around here might get interesting!)

What I'm trying to say here is please don't let your kids call the shots.  They need guidance and rules to learn how life works.  If you want to see what letting your kid call the shots will do later in life, go hang out in a middle school and I guarantee you will pick out the kids who were allowed to make all the decisions.  I would bet you would be appalled by the stinker's behavior.  Go to a high school.  You'll pick them out there, too.  Go to work.  You know that co-worker who doesn't work nearly as hard as everyone else, but still thinks they poop gold and deserve all of the praise and promotions.  Yup!  You found him...or her!  

I am very much enjoying my job as a Mom.  I want to raise kids who know how to follow rules, know how to work hard to get what they want out of life, and who realize that their feelings and thoughts matter.  Hopefully, this is a Mommy win.  I feel like it is right now.  I'll get back to you in 30 years and let you know for sure.

On Traveling with a Screaming Banshee

This past weekend we thought we'd be awesome and drive 7 hours (one way) to Midland, Texas for a baby shower.  First of all, this couple means a whole heck of a lot to us.  I'm pretty sure if I asked Heath to hop in a car for hours to go to a baby shower for anyone else, I'd get a real fast "no way"!  There are very few people I would do this for, too, if I'm being honest.

Why we drove to Midland.  Aren't they gorgeous?

Traveling with three small children is always an adventure.  The girls have always been awesome travelers.  Logan has done a great job up to this point, too, but this is the first trip we've taken where he was confined for that long after becoming mobile.  The boy HATES sitting still.  I had a plan, though, and it was going to work.  There was no doubt in my mind.

We turned his car seat forward facing to open up a whole new world for him.  He could see me, he could see the TV, he could see better out of the windows.  I know this isn't the advised practice anymore.  He's only 14 months old, not 14 years or however old they are supposed to be to turn around these days, but you know what?  When we drive in town for more than 20 minutes, he loses it.  We thought it would be safer all around to have him happy and not screaming for 6 or 7 hours.

Packed in and ready to go!  Happy faces all around.

The first hour was hilarious!  He squealed and kicked his feet in delight.  He would yell "ma" to get me to turn around and smile at him.  I got the best grins I've ever seen out of him for that first hour.

At the hour mark, things quickly headed south.  The fussing began.  I threw snacks at him.  That helped for about 10 minutes.  I emptied his bag of goodies trying to find something he'd like.  He'd take it from me, yell, and throw it.  We exhausted the bag of goodies within about 5 minutes.

SO MAD!

I knew it was time for a nap.  It was actually about 2 hours past time for a nap at this point.  You guys, I have the ONLY kids in the whole world who refuse to sleep in the car.  The girls have never slept in the car, either.  We drove from Texas to Ohio (a full 24 hours) non-stop for Christmas when Hannah was almost 2 and Camden was around 4 months old. Hannah slept for 3 hours of the whole entire trip.  Apparently, Logan takes after his sister.  Lucky us!

Back to this story, though.  I had a stash of about 6 pacifiers.  The boy loves his binky.  It usually does the trick quickly at nap time.  He was screaming and crying and exhausted (just in case you missed that detail).  I would hand him a pacifier.  He'd pop it in his mouth, still screaming, leave it there for about 5 seconds, and then he'd take it out and throw it.  Awesome.

He finally fell asleep for about 45 minutes...binky free because I was done climbing all over the car retrieving them.  He woke up and continued his unhappy screaming.  We made it, got him out of the car and he was a happy little camper again.

Sweet silence!  Do you like his pink car seat?  The hazards of being born AFTER two girls.

The weekend was so much fun.  We had a great time with some people who mean a whole lot to us.  The kids had a lot of fun and were relatively well behaved.  Hannah got sick (and 5 days later is still sick), but she was trooper and got lots of snuggles and love.  The trip was totally worth it.  Until the ride home.  Honestly, even with the unhappy traveling, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Trying to sleep off her sick.  This was at 9 in the morning.  The girl NEVER naps.  Poor little lady!

On the way home, Logan did the same thing.  Only this time, he was happy for the first 30 minutes, not hour.  He fell asleep faster, but unfortunately, that happened 20 minutes before we got to our mid-way lunch stop.  He did the same thing 20 minutes from home. Add to it a miserable little girl who felt horrible.  She tried her best not to whine and cry, but she just couldn't help it.  Sweet little lady. 

Can I just tell you that I have absolutely no desire to ever leave my house again?  We have a few trips coming up and I'm dreading the travel portion of the trips.  Time to start shopping for drugs that will knock him out.  Shhhhh!!!!  I didn't say that.  Or mean it.  Not really.  OK, maybe I did mean it...just a little.  Anyone know where I can buy Benadryl in bulk?